A very different day

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Today was always going to be a different day for me. Thursday is my day off work this month. Next month I am having Mondays off each week, I hope. That all depends on my psychologist and doctor. I already had a couple of appointments booked for today but after last night’s semi-drunk post I made an appointment to see my doctor as well.

First up this morning I did something I should have done months ago. Went to the Sexual Health Clinic at the hospital to get a screening done. Why would I do that? I wanted to make sure I was not capable of infecting anyone else.

Being a diabetic I have been in hospital quite a bit during my life and quite often I was a guinea pig as the medical students were doing the rounds with the senior doctors. Well, that happened today at the clinic. I got to be a guinea pig for a new young nurse who was just starting at the clinic. So, two ladies in the room with me asking me about my sex life (insert embarrassed face emoji here). All the questions answered, blood tests done, now wait for the results. However, that was not the most embarrassing thing I did today, more of that later.

Next off to the doctor. But I had an hour to wait so first thing a nice relaxing coffee while I figure out how to tell my doctor that I might be becoming an alcoholic.

I have a good doctor. He has looked after me for many years and we get on well, so when he moved practice to the other side of Canberra I decided I would put up with the extra drive time rather than find a new doctor. Anyway, into the doctor I go, tell him how much I’ve been drinking and wait for his response. “No problem”, he says. “We know you are really only a social drinker. This has been a tough year for you. Its good that you have recognised this difference in your drinking pattern now and not in a few years time. What to do” he says. Well, as it turns out, not much at the moment. I am seeing him again in 4 days. We will see how I go between now and then. I have it in my mind and that may be enough to curtail it.

Okay, now the embarrassing thing that I mentioned earlier. I am 52 years old and this year I started manscaping for the first time ever. Lots of research on the internet to find out what to do and how to do it. Shave here, clipper there. Shave your bottom. What the??? How the hell am I going to do that? I am not very flexible so there’s no way I can get around there and do that. Hmmm. I know, I’ll go to a professional and get a wax. At this point I will say, ladies, I take my hat off to you. That was one of the most embarrassing and undignified things I think I have ever done.

I walk into the salon and a pretty young lady comes out to meet me. “Hi, I’m xxx and I’ll be looking after you today.” Okay, I say to myself. “Come on in. We’re doing a Half Brazilian and bottom today, correct?” “Um, yeah.” “Okay, take everything off from the waist down and lie face up on the table.” “Face up?” I wonder, “oh well, she’s the expert.” “Now bring your knees up towards your chest as far as you can and hold them there.” “Really!!!!!!” Anyway, let’s cut this short. Lots of warm gooey stuff, paper being pressed on, grit your teeth and RIP. Ouch. Finally we’re done. “Hope to see you again” smiles the receptionist as I leave. Maybe, maybe not.

So what do you do on your day off?

A man whose not sure about waxing,

Eccles